What to do When People Notice You Changing

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It’s inevitable. When our behaviors change, the ones we love most will take notice, eventually.

I’m making personal changes, and during this time have decided to not make a huge announcement to loved ones. That is just the approach I have felt best for this. Although I knew that they would eventually notice, I wasn’t really prepared for their feedback.

The two statements from other’s that stand out most in my minimalist journey are:

You’re too risky.

You’re off-kilter.

Wow.

It’s not really a huge deal, and those two statements were not intended to hurt me, it just really stood out.

For instance:

My grandmother just passed away and has some items that she wanted passed down to me. My mom is in charge of her belongings now and told me that I was “too risky” to be given her stuff.

While that is amazingly true, it’s still a protective approach I feel coming from my mother and it’s totally cool. I do get it. I am ridding things out of my life and it’s hard to hide my many, many trips to the donation center as of late. And truly, while I love my grandmother from the bottom of my soul: I’m not into china plates. I know that when the timing is right, I will know what would truly mean something to me as far as items go. Right now, I am clinging to her memory in her passing and that is enough for me.

The other statement came from my husband when I told him “I just want us to be normal.” Now, this came from a point of weakness, because I am most certainly not ‘normal’ nor do I want to be. What I meant by that was: I want peace and harmony in my life. That’s better said than ‘normal.’

He lovingly told me that he doesn’t want me to change (aw!).

I asked why and his answer:

He loves me the way I am, but I’m just off-kilter.

(The word ‘but’ is amazing isn’t it?…..)

Maybe so, but this off-kilter is who I am. An unbalanced girl trying to find her thing, her heart, and her self again.

Although I don’t have the perfect answer on what to actually do when you change and how to deal with other’s who take notice, I can say this:

Continue following your heart. Your intuition is your guide and you really do know what’s best for you. Loved ones may comment, it may sting or throw you for a loop – but don’t let it stop you. If you are changing, it shakes things up in the relationship because you are different even if it’s for the best.

I don’t know about you, but I want to be different. So, that’s what I will continue to do.

De-Cluttering: Jewelry

De-Cluttering, Letting Go, Minimalism, Minimalist, Simple Life, Simplicity

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Getting real about our clutter isn’t always easy. Sometimes our belongings have sat around unused so long that we don’t even realize it’s there.

I do things differently now when de-cluttering.

The answer is really simple:

I’m getting real about what I actually use regularly.

This allows me to get rid of the mightusesomeday or ikindasortalikeit dilemmas.

Above is a pic of my current jewelry after a massive de-clutter. What you see are the pieces I actually have worn in the last year.

That’s all that made the cut. Everything else was donated.

There is no humongous box housing unwanted pieces, there is no massive wall display like I used to have showing off jewelry that was never worn. This is it.

And it works perfectly now, a few of my favorite earrings and 2 necklaces.

I can find everything so easy instead of digging through the clutter.

When we remove the excess and the unwanted or unused items, we can truly see the value in our favorite things. All the sudden, their beauty and worth begins to shine as all the noise is removed.

Item Placement that Makes Sense

Clarity, De-Cluttering, Gentle Change, Minimalism, Simplicity

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The way we live truly is an art. We are all different and execute our days in the way we feel best. But what if we can execute more efficiently? What if we can use our time and resources even better?

Making better use of my space and time is another reason I am de-cluttering and really thinking about how and where my time is spent. My focus is not to fill every minute in my day with busyness; rather, I just want to spend it well.

I used this concept while I was de-cluttering my kitchen this weekend. I decided to move my food and dishes to a better placement that actually makes sense. It’s amazing where I put things just to put them when I first moved in. If it was a kitchen item, I just put it in a cabinet somewhere in the kitchen.

Now that I am really thinking about logistics: it doesn’t make sense to me and my movements.

So, I moved my canned good near the stove instead of the pantry. Now, that doesn’t seem logical offhand, but now – I can just reach up and grab some veggies right from the stove top.

Ahhh, now that makes better sense.

All of my bowls, cups, silverware, plates are now right above my dishwasher. All of them. This is so I just reach up or down to load and unload instead of all over the place in separate cabinets.

My pots and pans are below the stove so they are easy to grab.

Tonight, I plan on moving the kids snacks in an unfamiliar cabinet: down below. It was a space that used to house unused appliances. But when the kids snacks are moved to this space, they can just grab the food themselves instead of getting me to get it from up high in the pantry.

This is basic stuff I realize, but have you thought about where you are keeping your stuff?

I can say that, without a doubt, when I cooked dinner and cleaned up last night it took me almost half the time as it normally does by simple item placement in spots where I need them to be.

So, my challenge to you is: are you aggravated in a work space in your home? Could you set it up to benefit and assist you rather than work against you? I did, and am so glad.

3 Reasons Why I am De-Cluttering

De-Cluttering, Minimalism, Minimalist

To untether ourselves from our stuff, we must really get to the beef on why we are so attached in the first place.

When I first started de-cluttering my home, I didn’t know the answer, I only knew that I wanted it gone so I that I could breathe again.

But, as I go along my focus gets clearer and clearer.

The main reason I have so many things that I am attached to is:

I don’t want to let go of who I was in the past.

It was my childhood, it was all my good memories, it was fun fads and trends I took part of. It all brings warm fuzzies to my memory. But there are also a lot more things that I’m holding on “just in case” or if “I change my mind about something.”

In reality: I do want to let go of who I was in the past. I am not that person. I’ll never be that person again and that could actually be a good thing. I’m in a new decade and have been through a lot that allows me to see this world through different eyes.

It’s OK to let go. It’s OK for me to change. I want something new.

Since I have reached that point in my psyche and heart I can let go with grace and ease. I’m looking ahead and moving with myself, not against it.

There are three main reasons I am de-cluttering my stuff and they are all very, VERY, important to me.

1. Less to clean. Do I even need to elaborate? See why here.

2. Room for growth. I don’t like seeing unfinished projects and hopes that I had on a whim from my past. Be it craft supplies, exercise equipment, and duplicates. The things that used to interest me 10 years ago do not apply now. I have other hobbies and hopes. The one’s I have now is what stays.

3. Focus. My clutter (physical and emotional) is holding me back bigtime. I have things that I want to do and accomplish that I can’t because of the clutter. I’m not hanging on anymore, I am moving forwards.

My life is beginning to align with my true self. That’s the girl I am, and that’s the girl I will honor.

Thoughts on my Summer Capsule Wardrobe

Capsule Wardrobes, De-Cluttering, Letting Go, Minimalism, Minimalist

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The capsule wardrobe has intrigued me for years. I’ve attempted to make one a few times in the past and would just become unmotivated because I never knew where to start.

It’s one of the first things accomplished since I have drastically changed my life this year.

My capsule wardrobe was free: meaning, I didn’t buy any new pieces after I decided to make it. I simply used what was there.

It’s been a few weeks since I began wearing my capsule, and it is so much easier. Everything in my closet is my favorite pieces, my closet is not over-packed, and it all fits well.

When we get rid of the unnecessary and excess, it frees up room to enjoy our best. Whether it be our clothing, trinkets, emotional baggage, waste; the excess weighs us down.

It’s not as scary as it sounds to de-clutter our lives. It takes a lot of work and heart if you are going to do it right. It’s important to understand why you got where you are today and how you want to change.

Since there are a bazillion websites on capsule wardrobes, I will not bore you with another how-to. Just search it on pinterest or google and you are sure to find a plethora. Or, check out Courtney’s site for Project 333 to get started.

Some thoughts:

1. It’s a lot of work: But worth it. This task will go a lot faster if you are pretty ruthless. Anything that is too big or small needs to go, anything ratty, your ex-boyfriend’s t-shirt – you got the idea, right? Let go.

2. Match your lifestyle: You don’t need a whole closet full of prom dresses if you shovel shit for a living. Dress for who you are now. Keep items that you absolutely love and match your personality.

3. Don’t spend money: If you are like me, you probably have more than you could ever imagine. Try to make your capsule out of the items you have now. This way you won’t make the mistake of getting back into your old habits of spending money for no good reason.

4. You will love your closet: After everything is purged and it’s all roomy and neat sit back and enjoy the view and freedom.

5. It’s OK: It can be hard because you aren’t used to having a roomy closet. If you just can’t let go immediately, store your unsure items away for a few months. If after your set timeframe you don’t remember what’s in the box – donate.

So, I’m digging my capsule. I’ve already set a few things aside to incorporate for fall so I can mix it up a bit.

Do you have a capsule? If so, I’d love to see if you want to share. Post a pic or link in the comments!

T-Shirts: There’s 7 Days in a Week

De-Cluttering, Letting Go, Minimalism, Minimalist, Simple Life, Simplicity

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There are seven days in a week.

That fact is not going to change, so it makes me question why I have 14+ t-shirts in my closet. That would mean that I have to wear two or more t-shirts a day per week to wear them all. That really doesn’t make any sense considering I only wear a t-shirt right before bed and maybe on the weekend.

This discovery lets me know that I simply have too many t-shirts in my life.

So, it’s time to break-up.

Half of them are now gone and my closet thanks me.

What do you keep that doesn’t make any sense?

Why Do We Do the Things We Do?

Free Spirit, Gentle Change, Minimalism, Minimalist, Simple Life

It’s Friday and we are all super excited that it’s the weekend. We get to leave our ‘have to’ life of working for someone else and actually attempt to do something we really want to do: like our passions this weekend.

Aren’t you tired of watching the clock and counting down hours for 40+ hours a week? Do you ever wonder how life got on auto-pilot and we all just accepted that this is just how it is; I have to do this day in and day out to survive?

Well, I am wondering that very question and am actively searching for my answer. I can’t help it, because deep in my soul I can feel the fueling of the flame. There is more to life than this. Yes, I created where I am now (and am pretty dang proud of it). But if I honestly dig into where I am and what I have done to get here: it was society that told me I had to. My elders told me I better get my education and grind, grind, grind to thrive in this horrendous world. It’s dog eat dog they said.

And I believed them.

Even when that voice told me: maybe it’s not what I really wanted, I still had to do it because I would be an adult one day, and that’s just what adult’s do.

So what did my young, hopeful self do? Went to college and majored in business, of course! Because, you can’t go wrong with that and BY GOD, I MUST GO TO COLLEGE AND I MUST WORK A MILLION HOURS A WEEK TO PAY OFF MY SHOWY DEBT SO I CAN ‘FIT IN’ IN THIS COUNTRY: I said.

And I did it; like a boss.

Even though I wasn’t happy the whole time because I freakin’ hated business. Booooring. Snore, snore.

And I suck at math and accounting and statistics. Even still I graduated with a high GPA.

Mostly I am just proud that I sat through that many hours of business talk.

I still learned a lot and am not discounting my experience. But, what I am saying is:

When are we going to get to know ourselves again?

When are we going to find out what fuels us?

When are we going to do the work necessary to lead our life’s mission?

When are we going to say ‘I quit’ to what society tells us is normal and what we should do with OUR OWN life?

When will we turn the sail, get to know ourself, and actually BE that person?

The ‘when’ is right now. Not in a minute, but right now.

We can start by doing a few easy things:

1. Asking why do I do the things I do? As creatures of habit, it’s easy to get on auto-pilot. We need to find out how to shake ourselves up from the inside out and get back to center. Why do we work where we work? Why are we stuck and stagnant in our careers, relationships, behaviors? What I can I do get where I want to be?

2. Be conscious of our daily choices. We actually have power and control over our choices. Whether we do the right thing is a different story. There is power in each choice. We just have to make choices that align with our values and true self.

3. Discover what makes you happy. It doesn’t matter what makes someone else happy, I am talking about you! Everyone is different. Embrace who you are. Hint: if you would do this with no one watching or for free: that is what I’m talking about.

4. Focus on yourself. Quit worrying about what other people think about you. We are all abnormal, right? That’s what makes life awesome and everyone special. So don’t be embarrassed about who you really are. It may cause friction when the true you comes out, but you are strong and can handle it! I’m letting loose a few new things about me and it feels so good!

5.  Decide what you can do today. First thing is to start. Now. Exit out of this blog and do what you know you need to do. Is it exercise? Get a glass of water? Create a piece of art? Start your own blog? Research a new class you’ve always wanted to take? Call your best friend?

I’ve heard that good luck and success and happiness doesn’t fall from the sky:

We actually have to CREATE it. 

What will you create today and this weekend?

I’ll be enjoying swimming (handstands and flips included), creating new designs for my Etsy shop CharlisWeb (I opened my shop back up to continue perusing a passion), de-cluttering my junk, getting plenty of sleep, and loving on my family. I’m excited about it.

We run things, Things don’t run we

Free Spirit, Hippie Life, Hippy Life, Minimalism, Simplicity, Yoga

I have this really amazing playlist I made for my yoga practice. It’s not ocean sounds and birds chirping like you would imagine (although, I love that too and need the zen sometimes as well). This particular list has songs like:

Radioactive

Boom Clap

Holla Back Girl

We Can’t Stop

I’m So Fancy

You know, just your basic ‘gettin’ into it’ music. Anyway, I am who I am and I like a little funk and pop while I fold into a pretzel sometimes.

In the middle of my side crow pose, We Can’t Stop by Miley Cyrus came on.

Now, what do me and Miley Cyrus have in common you may be wondering?! Not a damn thing. Except the lyric:

We run things, Things don’t run we

It hit me then that my things: whether it is my material possessions, stress, guilt, shame, fear, frustration, other people’s behaviors, finances: have all been ‘running’ me for far too long.

In truth, I AM THE ONE WHO RUNS THINGS, not the other way around. I am taking the power back to my center. I am taking control back over my heart and mind. I am choosing what I do and what I allow in.

This shifting is monumental and also necessary for change. 

So, thank you Miley for allowing me to get deeper into my poses, have some fun while I sweat, and reminding me that it is WE who run things.

Give Up: Best Inspiration Ever

Minimalism

Aaahhh! I am so excited that I found a new website to stalk!

It’s called Paid to Exist and I just read the best post I have ever read in my life.

Seriously. Read it right now.

If you are into simplifying and minimalism, you may have already gotten into it, but if not: join me in the stalkage.

I’ve spent years reading my other favs:

Zen Habits

The Minimalists

Be More With Less

Now, to add another impeccable source of inspiration has seriously gotten me giddy!