What to do When People Notice You Changing


It’s inevitable. When our behaviors change, the ones we love most will take notice, eventually.

I’m making personal changes, and during this time have decided to not make a huge announcement to loved ones. That is just the approach I have felt best for this. Although I knew that they would eventually notice, I wasn’t really prepared for their feedback.

The two statements from other’s that stand out most in my minimalist journey are:

You’re too risky.

You’re off-kilter.


It’s not really a huge deal, and those two statements were not intended to hurt me, it just really stood out.

For instance:

My grandmother just passed away and has some items that she wanted passed down to me. My mom is in charge of her belongings now and told me that I was “too risky” to be given her stuff.

While that is amazingly true, it’s still a protective approach I feel coming from my mother and it’s totally cool. I do get it. I am ridding things out of my life and it’s hard to hide my many, many trips to the donation center as of late. And truly, while I love my grandmother from the bottom of my soul: I’m not into china plates. I know that when the timing is right, I will know what would truly mean something to me as far as items go. Right now, I am clinging to her memory in her passing and that is enough for me.

The other statement came from my husband when I told him “I just want us to be normal.” Now, this came from a point of weakness, because I am most certainly not ‘normal’ nor do I want to be. What I meant by that was: I want peace and harmony in my life. That’s better said than ‘normal.’

He lovingly told me that he doesn’t want me to change (aw!).

I asked why and his answer:

He loves me the way I am, but I’m just off-kilter.

(The word ‘but’ is amazing isn’t it?…..)

Maybe so, but this off-kilter is who I am. An unbalanced girl trying to find her thing, her heart, and her self again.

Although I don’t have the perfect answer on what to actually do when you change and how to deal with other’s who take notice, I can say this:

Continue following your heart. Your intuition is your guide and you really do know what’s best for you. Loved ones may comment, it may sting or throw you for a loop – but don’t let it stop you. If you are changing, it shakes things up in the relationship because you are different even if it’s for the best.

I don’t know about you, but I want to be different. So, that’s what I will continue to do.

5 thoughts on “What to do When People Notice You Changing

  1. True. We’re not always prepared to take comments from others in our stride. Until we feel we’re ready its best not to share it with them. They mean well but sometimes things they say with the best intentions become our undoing.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow ! That post pushed my buttons in a positive way. I have been there so many times on my own journey. What I learnt is that I am not the one that is ” too this” or ” too that”. Actually my changes are all mine and others feel uncomfortable and they don’t deal very well with themselves so they just chose to put it on me, trying to put me back where I was before instead of facing themselves. Risky ? Like you suddenly bought a gun and are threatening people when you meet them ? Isn’t it more like “I feel scared when I see you doing all those changes because X or Y reason”. Or something like ” all the changes you are making are challenging me in that way or this way because X or Y reason of mine”. I used to stop each change I was making because of the negative limiting feedback I would receive each time. I got it from people very close and dear to me and it was more than just stinging, they went to all extent to avoid having facing themselves, their emotions and their feelings. In the end I learned that my responsibility was to myself and the best I could do was to let them deal with their stuff while getting rid of mine.
    I love the way you talk about all the aspects of decluttering. At first I thought it was just a mere cleaning thing but it is so not and so much deeper and bigger ! It is nice and warming to know I can come to your blog and I will find someone that understands and talks about all of this journey so freely ! Thank you !


    1. You are very encouraging and inspirational too!!! I know, it’s funny how other people react to change, but we finally get to a point when we know we must do it to thrive! I mean, sometimes I catch myself baffled when someone else changes too. It shakes things up a bit. But that’s what growing and living is all about — we change and grow! Every.Single.Day! Thanks for your encouragement and much continued success on your journey as well. You have lots of big things coming up!!! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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