Marital Convo

De-Cluttering, Minimalism, Simplicity

Husband- The house looks naked now.

Me- Thank GOD!

As you can see, I am no marital expert on how to ‘do’ minimalism when one person is uber-focused on simplifying and the other could care less.

This happens a lot with couples and I’m not mad about it at all. The fact is, I HAVE to get rid of the clutter right now. I am smothering in my on home and I have so much going on that I can’t keep it up. It has to be my haven and it’s been far from it. It’s been a burden. A place that drains my energy before I even walk inside. That’s not a home. That’s a problem.

My husband and I didn’t marry and then purchase our things together. We both had our own lives before. This meant that we combined his life pre-me and my life pre-him.

That’s a lot of junk y’all.

Then, we had housewarming parties and moved a couple of times. He likes to hang on to stuff and I like to get rid of it.

And that’s totally fine.

I am only decluttering my stuff. Which, by the way, is like 90% of everything. His man cave is the garage where he has free reign. But the functional decor and most of the day-to-day is mine, things that I bought either before marriage or during. So, I am tired of it. I want it gone. A lot of it comes from a negative energy source and it is just entirely TOO MUCH.

My twenties were spent trying to find myself, create my home, then create a marital home with a baby. That’s a lot to figure out.

Now that I am in my 30’s, I am in a different place. I want family time. I want to simplify so we can spend time together, go on ventures, and be calm. I want the children to grow in a place where there is space to be creative.

I wish I knew the best way to collectively be on the same page with a husband or wife when one is trying to simplify. I don’t. However, I am thankful he is supportive (although unsure of my ability to just toss and go). It’s a martial learning curve for sure.

Marriage is a compromise. The main thing is supporting each other, trying to understand, and come to a middle ground where everyone is comfy and happy.

Create Space for New Possibilities

De-Cluttering, Letting Go, Minimalism, Simplicity

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This bookshelf has been bothering me for years now. I purchased it when I moved to an apartment with my bestie. It housed books and knicknacks. Then, I moved in with my fiance. The bookshelf and all the stuff from the shelves moved with me. We marry, I get pregnant and then we move again into the home where we currently reside. The shelf and everything it displayed came with us.

As of yesterday, the shelf housed baskets full of random stuff and craft supplies. It also housed my daughters books. In my past, I had an obsession with collecting cute baskets to store my stuff. Well, I recently realized that the only purpose this shelf serves is to display stuff I really don’t even need or use. Also, it’s terrible quality and rickety due to the amount of moves it’s been through. My daughter likes to dig into stuff on the shelf and I am always on edge it will tip over. Not to mention that little hallway is tiny in real life and it’s hard to shoulder-through to the bathroom. I have spent numerous brain cells trying to come up with the best look of shelving design, plus I have moved it from room to room to find the best place for it for years.

The simple fact: Nothing that has ever been on this shelf mattered.

DVDs: My family does not watch DVDs because we have Dish on Demand and Netflix.

Craft Supplies: I am no longer into Pinteresty crafty ventures. It does not bring me joy, only frustration these days. I am working on other ventures now so it’s time to let go. I am keeping a needle and thread, hot glue gun, scissors, and some jute string; I’m just not going to display it on a shelf. It is neatly stored in a closet now should I need it.

Books: I have an e-reader for most of the books I read and the books that I buy physically are given away because I never read a book twice. My daughters books are now downsized and in her bedroom.

Odds and Ends: Schoolwork, misc. pictures, paper, etc. do not need to be housed on a bookshelf. I am going to come up with a better way to keep the necessities – just not on display.

That’s pretty much what was being displayed in my cramped hallway. The baskets that were on the shelves took up so much room themselves. They are gone now. I don’t need baskets to store the unnecessary because that’s silly.

I will be glad when this dangerous bookshelf is gone and I no longer have to worry that it will collapse on top of my daughter and also give us a little more room as we pass by in the hallway.

Also, should we ever move again (hopefully!) I don’t have the concern or worry on what I will put on the shelf and where this bookshelf will go at a new location. Just thinking about loading it up, unloading it, and placing all the unnecessary stuff back on it exhausts me.

Best for Me

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Long term stress has taken it’s toll on my health. I have suppressed, ignored, and fought it for far too long.

I went to the doctor yesterday and the stress and anxiety in my life is causing break-though bleeding, exhaustion, and high blood pressure. Real issues.

My prescribed treatment? Less stress.

We all know that is harder to actually do than just saying you are going to do it. This is taking a lot of action on my part to make major shifts and changes in my life – for me.

There is a lot of risk, but yet, there are a lot of rewards as well.

My starting point is de-cluttering my home and possessions and no longer buying unnecessary things so I can pay off debt. These two things are major distractions and stressors in my life. My cluttered home makes me consistently aggrivated being the “stuff manager.” I have given up that title completely. I don’t want to be the Stuff Manager anymore.

My debt hangs over my head and completely weighs me down. I don’t feel free or in control of my life with it there.

These two things: I am vigorously removing from my life.

Once these are removed, I can focus on and de-clutter my mental and emotional stressors. As it stands now, I have a lot of emotional issues to resolve, but can’t tend to it because of outside busyiness and clutter.

I can’t WAIT to get on with it and remove ALL the unnecessary to focus on my priorities.

Dreamer

De-Cluttering, Free Spirit, Gentle Change, Hippie Life, Hippy Life, Minimalism, Simplicity

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It’s all too common to fall asleep thinking of the never ending to-do list. You run over in your mind what all you still had to accomplish that day, but didn’t. Defeat takes over. Regret. Anxiety. Not to mention you have to get up in several hours to go to work – to a job that you aren’t all too happy in because you are a slave to debt.

Now you can’t sleep.

Grr.

Maybe in your past you made mistakes. Perhaps you are a slave to consumerism: constantly buying stuff to fill the void. Perhaps your schedule is so busy that there isn’t room to take care of what matters most to you.

I feel like this a whole lot.

That’s my motivation for simplifying my life. I am actively trying to remove those things that weigh me down and take my attention off my dreams.

I’m slowly giving up the soul sucking energy and behaviors. 

1. De-Cluttering my Home: I am getting rid of the things that don’t matter, that I don’t love. Those possessions that are attached to negative energy and memories. They must go.

2. No to Consumerism: I am no longer shopping for fun, instead, I only buy what is vital so I can pay of my credit card debt.

3. Dreamer: Somewhere along the way in busyness and being a ‘grown-up,’ I forgot what it’s like to dream. With debt, a home, family, and kids, my dreams went by the wayside. I still have hopes and dreams deep down. I am slowly allowing those dreams to surface so I may soon take action.

4. Social Media: Facebook had become a negative in my life. I couldn’t help but to look and scroll the newsfeed, but it always left me feeling a little depressed: people on my nerves, feeling like my life wasn’t as happy as someone elses, other people commenting on my activity. I’m on hiatus. I may not ever go back.

5. Diet: I am using food as my energy source instead of entertainment. I eat when I am hungry. When I do eat, it’s minimal sugar and lots of veggies.

6. Yoga: This is a new passion. It helps relieve anxiety and also gets me in shape and tones muscles.

By getting rid of a lot of negatives and adding more positives, I feel more clear. I feel like I can make better decisions.

So, by the end of the day when I am snuggled up in my bed, I will allow my hopes and dreams to come forward. I will rest in peace knowing that my choices today affect tomorrow. I am getting control of my life back and it feels so nice.

Give Up What Disturbs Peace: Wall Art

De-Cluttering, Simplicity

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Yesterday was a major – and I mean MAJOR – decluttering day for me. It felt amazing, but left me exhausted.

I am on an intense mission to get rid of the bad energy in my life, no matter what that energy may be. It’s a task, I tell you.

Short of saging every nook in my home to clear the suffocating vibes, I went on a ‘getting rid of clutter’ spree.

The task at hand was wall art.

This doesn’t sound like a mountain to climb, but it was like Mt. Everest. I took two car loads to the donation drop-off. TWO CAR LOADS of wall art.

How is that even possible to have 2 car loads of wall art? I don’t know. But it is.

My living space is small and the dark, cluttered walls keep feeling like they are closing in on me. Not to mention a lot of the art was over-sized picture frames that I re-did as a Pinterest project. But, they never felt right. I always felt like I was falling short and all those frames have been a daily reminder. I mean, not lumponthefloor feeling like a failure…just stagnant energy.

So, it was easy to decide what to keep. I was only going to keep what I love and my mission was to have pieces that compliment my room and the energy I want to feel when I walk in there.

My living room started out with 17 pieces of art/pictures/mirrors. Now I have 6. Six carefully selected pieces.

My bathroom had 8 pieces of art, now it has 2 selected pieces.

My daughters room had 8 pieces, now it has 2.

It feels so amazing to have so much clutter off my walls. And what is sad is that it took 2 full car trips to the donation bin. Imagine moving that to a new location. That is only for art. Whew.

When Expensive Become Cheap

Free Spirit, Gentle Change, Minimalism, Simplicity

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Happy Friday, Lovies!

Let’s dream today. Let’s dream about where we want to be this time next year. Let’s work toward our true passions and figure out our true calling in life.

Let’s no longer be stuck in a cycle of dread, worry, and anxiety in regards to our ‘career’ or our debts. Let’s come up with a plan today and do something about it!

My first step?

Paying every dime leftover at the end of the month to credit card debt. I want freedom from the chains of debt. It’s going to to take a while, but I am ready for diligence. I am ready to fight. I am ready to change.

Once my debts are paid, I will then be able to work more on my terms. It will open up many more possibilities.

What do you want to change today? What do you want to do with your life? Do you love where you are? Do you desperately want something else?

My Summer Capsule Wardrobe

Minimalism

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I finally created my capsule wardrobe and wanted to share. I’m super pumped to have some outfits slimmed down to my favorite pieces that I love to wear. I may add 2 or 3 more shirts to the mix as the weeks go on, but I’m not sure yet.

My favorite thing about putting a capsule together like this is that you can see everything laid out at once. It helps see what items match (or in my case mix/match) and what items just doesn’t go at all.

I have to insert here that these aren’t my exact pieces (some are) but they are pretty dang close to my actual items.

Of course, this doesn’t include my pj’s, t-shirts and work-out gear.

Some of my favs in my closet didn’t make the summer cut, but I am going to keep them and make a capsule for fall. I will just store the items out of the way for a few months and go from there.

That’s the plan anyway!

The Perfect Amount

Hippie Life, Hippy Life, Minimalism, Simplicity

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I believe this. Minimalism doesn’t feel like ‘lacking’ to me at all. It feels like a more deliberate, efficient, calm life. One that isn’t full of greed and excess. I want to use what I need and no more. I want wide open spaces and freedom. Finding the perfect amount of something can be hard sometimes, especially when I am so used to excess and splurges. But, I’m getting better one day at a time.

What Consumes the Mind, Controls Our Life

Clarity, De-Cluttering, Free Spirit, Gentle Change, Hippie Life, Hippy Life, Letting Go, Meditation, Minimalism, Simplicity

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Simplifying our lives has many aspects to it; and it varies from each person to person. For me, I am not an extremist by any stretch, but I want to remove the excess that is weighing me down so I can be energized and focus on what truly matters to me.

As I am constantly de-cluttering my possessions and spending less on consumerist spending, I am also de-cluttering my mind. When I first began simplifying my life, I knew I needed to get rid of physical clutter to have more brain space and clarity to get down to business on my insides. It was only natural that at some point, a lot of my mental clutter began surfacing as I was decreasing the amount of possessions I owned.

This is my favorite part of a minimalist lifestyle!

For me, “you are what you eat” translates not only to actual food consumption, but also to what I take in to my mind and thoughts. My focus is to remove the negativity that keeps clouding my thoughts and turn it in to positive affirmations.

I took a few weeks to really listen to my thoughts that rattle within. My inner voice was speaking; and it wasn’t pretty. Self doubt, worry, frustration, anger, and incessant chatter seemed to never end. After meditation and letting go of this mindset, I knew there were some changes that I would have to make to clear the mental clutter.

This became a priority and still is.

1. Social Media: I am off of Facebook. Period. I was comparing myself to others, and then other people’s constant questioning about my personal Facebook activity was a major trigger in anxiety. Now, all of my closest family and friends know to contact me directly via telephone or person if they have something to communicate as I am not on Facebook for the drama anymore. It was weird for a few days because I would unknowingly pick up my phone to check Facebook as a terrible habit. But, I had deleted the icon app as a reminder not to log on. I don’t miss it at all.

2. News: I love the news and shows like Nancy Grace (my hero!). However, I feel very agitated, angry, and defensive after soaking in updates from around home and the globe. Truly, I was getting to where I felt hopeless and sad. So, I simply just don’t watch it any longer. Now, I know they say to keep up with cultural events and such; and I do get info from my Husband on events that I am interested in so I can stay in the loop on what matters to me. But guess what? The world hasn’t crashed and I haven’t become an obsolete being just because I am not ranting over politics and the like.

3. Diet: I can’t think well if I don’t feel well. My eating habits have changed and I no longer include sugar in my diet. I feel more energized and can focus on what matters – like having fun – instead of feeling guilty because of what I have eaten during the day.

4. Drama: Other people have a way of sucking me into their drama. I am by nature a very empathetic and compassionate person, so I take on other people’s burdens as my own. This drags me so far down and makes me collapse with exhaustion. This is probably one of my #1 soul suckers. I have to consciously choose not to be involved in drama anymore and it’s making a huge difference in my positivity.

I want positive, hopeful, happy thoughts. Along with my possessions, I am de-cluttering the gunk as well. We think what we take in. We speak what we take in. We feel what we take in.

Isn’t it time we put a barrier to the negativity so we can embrace our true selves? If you want to feel energetic, you must take in energy. If you want to think positively, you must consume positivity. Let’s use our energy for positive vibes instead of the negative, shall we?

What gunk to you need to get rid of to add some light into your days?