Facebook Creepin’

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Man. I know it may come across that I am a complete Facebook Hater, but I’m not. Or, am I? I really don’t know.

What I do know is that this incident really happened yesterday:

I saw a guy at Publix getting out of his car beside me. He has NO idea that I even exist. What’s super creepy is that I know his name. I know where he works. I know that he has a little baby girl, and that he is married to a girl I knew in highschool, yet haven’t seen or spoken to her in over 10 years. No, I have never stalked this person or met him but I know all of these details from (the girl/his wife) on Facebook.

Should I emphasize again the main point here?

He has no idea who in the world I am!

That was really creepy.

And makes me wonder how many people that I’ve never met who know those kind of details about me.

Ew.

So, yes. My Facebook is still deactivated.

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Retiring @ 35

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This couple retired when they were 35. My favorite part of the whole article was Paul’s quote:

“Our game plan is: When our bodies break down, we’ll deal with it.”

The freedom in that quote gives me all kinds of feel-good inspiration.

Thirty-five is sneaking up on me, so I don’t think I’ll be retiring by then. However, wouldn’t that be blissful? To let go of our worldly acquiring and have the freedom to do valuable work, enjoy the world, and spend our time where we want?

Of course, for some they do live this way. For others, they don’t.

Including myself. I have been a slave to society expectations, debt, and pretty much stuck to having to work to pay off all that I have acquired for the last thirty years.

Now, in this decade, I am de-quiring.

Kind of ironic to say the least.

But I am learning, growing, and changing.

Maybe one day I can live freely, lightly, and in peace.

What to do When People Notice You Changing

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It’s inevitable. When our behaviors change, the ones we love most will take notice, eventually.

I’m making personal changes, and during this time have decided to not make a huge announcement to loved ones. That is just the approach I have felt best for this. Although I knew that they would eventually notice, I wasn’t really prepared for their feedback.

The two statements from other’s that stand out most in my minimalist journey are:

You’re too risky.

You’re off-kilter.

Wow.

It’s not really a huge deal, and those two statements were not intended to hurt me, it just really stood out.

For instance:

My grandmother just passed away and has some items that she wanted passed down to me. My mom is in charge of her belongings now and told me that I was “too risky” to be given her stuff.

While that is amazingly true, it’s still a protective approach I feel coming from my mother and it’s totally cool. I do get it. I am ridding things out of my life and it’s hard to hide my many, many trips to the donation center as of late. And truly, while I love my grandmother from the bottom of my soul: I’m not into china plates. I know that when the timing is right, I will know what would truly mean something to me as far as items go. Right now, I am clinging to her memory in her passing and that is enough for me.

The other statement came from my husband when I told him “I just want us to be normal.” Now, this came from a point of weakness, because I am most certainly not ‘normal’ nor do I want to be. What I meant by that was: I want peace and harmony in my life. That’s better said than ‘normal.’

He lovingly told me that he doesn’t want me to change (aw!).

I asked why and his answer:

He loves me the way I am, but I’m just off-kilter.

(The word ‘but’ is amazing isn’t it?…..)

Maybe so, but this off-kilter is who I am. An unbalanced girl trying to find her thing, her heart, and her self again.

Although I don’t have the perfect answer on what to actually do when you change and how to deal with other’s who take notice, I can say this:

Continue following your heart. Your intuition is your guide and you really do know what’s best for you. Loved ones may comment, it may sting or throw you for a loop – but don’t let it stop you. If you are changing, it shakes things up in the relationship because you are different even if it’s for the best.

I don’t know about you, but I want to be different. So, that’s what I will continue to do.

Fear & Fact

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The time for hiding behind my financial misfortunes is no longer relevant. It’s time to take action and that’s exactly what I did today.

I am humbled and sad; distraught and challenged. But, facing my financial woe’s head on has lifted a weight of my shoulders.

Perhaps it’s that an elephant in the room exposed, or an opportunity to shift and change. Regardless, I am happy I finally tackled this arduous task. Now, I sit and wait for a while before knowing what to do next.

I was laid off from my job last July. It was very unfortunate and life changing. Not to mention my baby girl was only 6 months old at the time.

But, the problem is that during my unemployment I had to use credit cards for things, you know, like food and diapers and formula. It really wasn’t something I wanted to do, it was something I had to do.

And also another catch? Now I make about half as much as I used to. Half.

So, considering I live a very modest lifestyle – nothing elaborate by any stretch – I still built my life on my circumstances and finances because my old job was secure right? Well, wrong.

Our jobs are not secure.

The long and short of this story is that my credit score went from excellent to piss poor. Have you ever been laid off? That $800.00 a month is better than nothing, but I’m afraid to say — you can’t pay your bills with it!

So now I have a humongous mess to clean up. I’ve been so depressed about it that I have procrastinated facing debt head on. I’ve procrastinated because:

1. I’m a badass and thought that I could catch up on a few lacking car payments, etc. even though I make half of what I used to.

Fact is: I can’t. It’s an illusion that is not reality. I only make so much money a month, and it’s just not the same amount as it used to be.

2. I’m scared. I’ve never had bad credit or so much debt that I am a poor person. Well, I am now and it’s hard to accept the reality.

So, fear and fact has held me back.

Since I am ready to just go ahead and face this and accept the reality, I dove in this morning.

I have been on the phone with the loan people, collections agencies, and my husband.

Not much has been resolved as far as payments go – but one major thing has happened:

I FACED IT. I EXPOSED IT. I NAMED IT. I CALLED IT OUT. I GOT IT OFF MY CHEST. 

This is the first step in action. Seeing something for what it is and not being scared. It’s so tough sometimes to just face a situation. We wait. We hope. We put it off. It’s held inside and then we feel so stressed we may burst.

But now I have looked my financial situation in the eye and got the truth. Was it what I wanted to hear? Well, no. But it is my reality and it’s what I have to work with.

Now I wait on a few phone calls to come back before I can make a plan. Still feels so good to have this ‘lurker/stresser’ out in the open. Whew.

Are you procrastinating dealing what something because it’s a tough topic? Is it something you wish were different or is it something you can’t control, but want to?

That’s what happened to me. But now, I’m ready to expose it and work with my here and now and free myself from the bonds of shame, frustration, and humiliation. It’s only hurting me. And, it’s not worth hiding anymore.

How I Want to Navigate Life

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Ecstasy is something higher, or further out, than ordinary pleasure… its achievement requires a particular discipline and skill that is comparable to the art of sailing. We do not resist the vibrations, pulses, and rhythms of nature, just as the yachtsman does not resist the wind. But he knows how to manage his sails and, therefore, can use the wind to go wherever he wishes. The art of life, as we see it, is navigation.” ~Alan Watts

I don’t want to fight the flow anymore. I want to grow. I want to float with the currents and the ups and downs of life. I want it to be sexy, interesting, pleasant. I want to be able to glide without fear of the waves. I’m in management training: soon I will master the art of using the wind to go wherever I wish.

Best for Me

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Long term stress has taken it’s toll on my health. I have suppressed, ignored, and fought it for far too long.

I went to the doctor yesterday and the stress and anxiety in my life is causing break-though bleeding, exhaustion, and high blood pressure. Real issues.

My prescribed treatment? Less stress.

We all know that is harder to actually do than just saying you are going to do it. This is taking a lot of action on my part to make major shifts and changes in my life – for me.

There is a lot of risk, but yet, there are a lot of rewards as well.

My starting point is de-cluttering my home and possessions and no longer buying unnecessary things so I can pay off debt. These two things are major distractions and stressors in my life. My cluttered home makes me consistently aggrivated being the “stuff manager.” I have given up that title completely. I don’t want to be the Stuff Manager anymore.

My debt hangs over my head and completely weighs me down. I don’t feel free or in control of my life with it there.

These two things: I am vigorously removing from my life.

Once these are removed, I can focus on and de-clutter my mental and emotional stressors. As it stands now, I have a lot of emotional issues to resolve, but can’t tend to it because of outside busyiness and clutter.

I can’t WAIT to get on with it and remove ALL the unnecessary to focus on my priorities.

Caveman Skincare: Monthly Update with Pics

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Before Pics on the top of the vertical squares & after pics on the bottom. Before on the left & after on the right on the horizontal square.

I’ve been doing the Caveman Regimen for a little over a month and it has completely change my skin. Caveman is where you wash your face with only water – no facial cleansers or soap. It works, y’all.

There are many benefits and after a little time, you can see results.

I know pictures never do true justice, but I wanted to post a few before and afters just for a little visual on the progress.

I may have changed my no ‘poo routine – but I dang sure haven’t changed the way I wash my face. Water.only.forever.

Stylebook App

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Hmmm.

Stylebook app – this could be very interesting! I want to make a capsule wardrobe and this very well may be my ticket! It’s so hard for me to visualize my closet, even though I have pretty much de-cluttered it down to my favs.

Please look at how cute this summer capsule wardrobe is from The Realization of Good blog. Adorable!

I think this fall I am going to purchase pretty much all new clothing items and it will only be a capsule. I need a fresh start!