Meditation and self-reflection has really started a burning desire in my gut. For so long I have lived reactive and victimized by the happenings around me. My thoughts swirl in my head constantly saying things like
Why am I doing this every, single day? I want to be doing something else worthwhile.
Why is this bothering me so badly?
Why has all my energy been used to fight things that don’t matter.
Why am I not following my heart and gut?
The answers that I am getting in response is that:
I have been sitting back, not rocking the boat, afraid that I can’t do the things I want on my own, fear of failure, fear of the future, and fear of what others will think about my decisions.
There is also a recurring theme in my mind saying
I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
But deeeep down, I know that I will figure it out.
and most of all:
I AM READY TO ROCK THE BOAT.
I intend to do this by following my core desired feelings. This comes beautifully from The Desire Map sermons. It is probably the most simple thing I have ever heard, but I have for so long squelched my desires and been very self-restrictive that I can no longer express my desires.
This is all about to change.
I am going to shift. I am no longer going to live reactive.
I will be trusting my gut, my heart, and my intuition. I want to say goodbye to the quiet, obedient me and say hello to the new, authentic me. At any cost.
Because what I really, truly desire to feel is:
And for me to live the way I want to feel, I must do and act in harmony with those top 5 desired feelings.
I know that I can’t wake up tomorrow and all the sudden everything I want be right in front of me, because truthfully what I envision is very, drastically different from my life today.
My shift will include doing less of what I am doing now and then actually living and doing more of what I want to do.
So what about you? Do you live based on the way you want to feel or do you live reactively like I have been doing for so long doing things that you really don’t want to do?