Giving Damns

Inspiration

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The beauty of not-giving-a-damn is just that:

Not-giving-a-damn.

Which, as hard as I have tried to do so many things, and be the best at everything, not-giving-a-damn is a truly, psychedelic experience.

My brain tells me I have to do this, I must achieve this, I HAVE to be super woman.

My heart tells me to just be. My heart says that the Universe and Heavens will take care of me and to just let it.

Love and compassion will flow and be accepted, but the external circumstances that I try to control aren’t even mine to control in the first place.

Making the right choice, enjoying this moment, and realizing that I am enough just as I am, right in this instant is immensely simple, satisfying, and freeing. Getting to this point has been living hell, but very much part of the process to getting here in the first place.

I certainly wouldn’t describe this as Enlightenment, but it is a very different place than I have ever ventured before. I’m excited about it and really uncomfortable at the same time.

One thing I know to be true:

If you are excited and uncomfortable, you should probably go for it or embrace it anyway.

So, I don’t give a damn. That’s my embracing phrase for the day.

Heart.

Balance, Clarity, Desire, Heart, Inspiration, Intution

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Our hearts are imprisoned for just one reason: The only language they can speak is truth. Unlike the mind, which can be persuaded to accept the most bizarre ideas (“Look, it’s the Hale-Bopp comet! Time to kill yourself!), your heart tells it like it is, without bothering to be tactful or socially appropriate. Free hearts rock boats, break rules, do things that disrupt the system—whether that system is a dysfunctional family, a bloated bureaucracy, or the whole wide world. –Martha Beck

I’ve come to realize one of the main reasons for my anxiety is the conflict between my mind and heart.

I never knew until recently the true difference in the two life energy sources, I just accepted the fact that my mind was telling me what my heart was saying.

There is a shift now where I am listening to my heart more and more and ignoring my mind.

My brain is composed of past hurts, failures, society expectations, negative thoughts, memories: although there is a ton of positive stuff, too.

It’s simply time to hear my heart out first and tune out the ever rampant not-so-truthful brain.

Unfortunately, my heart is quiet. I’m ready to listen but it is silenced. That is because I have imprisoned my heart for so long. I’ve told it to hush! I’ve tried to rationalize against my heart.

I’m opening up the communication slowly and will listen to every tiny whisper.

Stubborn Gladness

Inspiration

35

Stubborn Gladness.

That has a little bit of confused-umph to it doesn’t it?

I want stubborn gladness, and I want it bad. On a small level, stubborn gladness is simple: don’t take life too seriously. it’s being glad in the midst of trouble in life.

We all have troubles and we all have the opportunity to be glad, if we choose to harness and cultivate it.

Each passing day, I can feel that gladness, hope, joy, faith, and clarity surfacing.

Those are the feelings that have been squelched by my busyness and what I like to call “digging out of a ditch” for so long.

I grabbed a shovel and started digging at the beginning of this year.

I can smell the air. I can see some light. And I’m still digging. Still learning. Still discovering myself again.

Willing to listen. Willing to stop. Willing to change.

Deep stuff. Important stuff.

This is what I am doing and will continue to do.

Rise

Desires, Inspiration, Simplicity

rise

Why decide to rise?

Not for the reasons you might think.

In fact, these are the reasons that will make you sick & tired:

Do not rise out of obligation

Do not rise because of feared consequences.

Do not rise because you think being tough makes you smarter (it doesn’t).

-The Desire Map

Now that we got the reasons not to rise out of the way, let’s get on with the good stuff.

I have been a go-getter, a do-or-die kind of gal. Quitting is for losers. If you’re not first your last thinker. A wear myself into the ground swatting and fighting for all the wrong reasons.

Good intentions at the core, but some serious exhaustion with nothing to show as the result.

Years and years of this, y’all.

I’m not nearly afraid of quitting anymore. While I absolutely adore responsibility and doing what you say you are going to do (if it is serving you well), the things that don’t serve can fug off!

My new rise and shift is for the great life. It’s for ebb and flow. It’s for latching on to what’s speaking from my Soul and allowing a whole lot of grace to cover the process.

It’s true what is said about following your heart and desires above all. Because not every thought you have is the truth – but the heart is true all the time.

Right now I desire to be free and open. Not constrained. I need a little whim and not-so-seriousness in the every day.

I am wild and primal at heart afterall: with a body and mind that is God-Given for survival on this earth. My mind and heart is craving freedom from reliance to do what I need to do. I can do this. I was born to, actually.

I crave endlessly the wiggle room and peace of ME! Of me being able to take care of myself.

I want joy, resilience, and rest. I want sunrise without dread.

And friends, that’s what I will have because I have everything to gain from what my Soul is telling me.

will be listening this time. Because. My Soul is God and people, that’s where I want to go and what I want to touch in every moment of every day.

The Shift to Desired, Gut, Intuitive Living

Desires, Intuition, The Shift

Meditation and self-reflection has really started a burning desire in my gut. For so long I have lived reactive and victimized by the happenings around me. My thoughts swirl in my head constantly saying things like

Why am I doing this every, single day? I want to be doing something else worthwhile.

Why is this bothering me so badly?

Why has all my energy been used to fight things that don’t matter.

Why am I not following my heart and gut?

The answers that I am getting in response is that:

I have been sitting back, not rocking the boat, afraid that I can’t do the things I want on my own, fear of failure, fear of the future, and fear of what others will think about my decisions.

There is also a recurring theme in my mind saying

I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

But deeeep down, I know that I will figure it out.

and most of all:

I AM READY TO ROCK THE BOAT.

I intend to do this by following my core desired feelings. This comes beautifully from The Desire Map sermons. It is probably the most simple thing I have ever heard, but I have for so long squelched my desires and been very self-restrictive that I can no longer express my desires.

This is all about to change.

I am going to shift. I am no longer going to live reactive.

I will be trusting my gut, my heart, and my intuition. I want to say goodbye to the quiet, obedient me and say hello to the new, authentic me. At any cost.

Because what I really, truly desire to feel is:

  1. Freedom
  2. Joy
  3. Love
  4. Secure
  5. Passion

And for me to live the way I want to feel, I must do and act in harmony with those top 5 desired feelings.

I know that I can’t wake up tomorrow and all the sudden everything I want be right in front of me, because truthfully what I envision is very, drastically different from my life today.

My shift will include doing less of what I am doing now and then actually living and doing more of what I want to do.

So what about you? Do you live based on the way you want to feel or do you live reactively like I have been doing for so long doing things that you really don’t want to do?

Harmony

Happiness, Inspiration

I read a quote somewhere recently that said something like:

Happiness is when what you do and say align in harmony with your thoughts.

I couldn’t agree more. For so long I was searching for accomplishments, goals, stuff, the American Dream. I thought all of these things (even in moderation) would make me happy.

The truth is, it doesn’t. I am truly happiest when I am balanced and in harmony with my heart, soul, and intuition.

That is my Nirvana.

The Shopping Pause

Capsule Wardrobes, Debt, Minimalist Shopping, Second-Hand, Second-Hand Shopping, Simplicity, Thrift Shopping

The Shopping Pause is something that I have had to practice and learn over time in my simplifying journey. I like to think of it as smart, intentional, frugal, and fun. I have always been an impulse decision maker – and my shopping habits reflected that. It resulted in over-crowed closets, unhappiness in my wardrobe, buyers remorse, and debt.

Now, I shop for discounted items and second-hand.

This type of shopping took a while to get the hang of, but is perfect for my new lifestyle.

Today, I was on the hunt for a new pair of blue jeans. My current pair had a button that broke off and was not fixable. I wear blue jeans all the time and knew this was something that I needed back in my wardrobe.

So, I shopped online at Target and found a pair of blue jeans on clearance! Yay! It was only $10.00 so I thought, no harm done. Well, then Target required a $25 checkout for free shipping. So I spent over an hour trying to find enough things I ‘need’ to make up for the shipping cost.

My cart was upped to $28 just so I could get enough ‘stuff’ for my true mission which was originally one pair of discounted jeans.

I decided to use the Shopping Pause before checking out and getting the carted items. I let my account just sit until my lunchbreak without buying.

Then, I went up the road to a local thrift store. I told myself, that if I didn’t find a pair of jeans there, I would checkout my Target order when I got back.

On the way to the thrift shop, I realized just how pissed I am at Target anyway. I am currently trying to pay off my credit card and they charged me an interest fee of $25 just this past month. TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS out of the $30 I paid went to interest.

Fuming about that, but also excited to hunt down a new pair of jeans at the thrift store, I searched through the rack. In all of about 5 minutes I found a new pair of Silver Jeans for $7.99.

silver

I tried them on and they fit perfectly and had zero flaws. These bad-boys are $85 brand new at Buckle.

Needless to say, I checked out very happy and even more happy that I paused before rushing my order and getting items that I truly didn’t need.

Shopping second-hand is the number one way that I am paying off debt quickly and also fulfilling my capsule wardrobe. I like my stuff smart, simple, stylish, and nice – and I intend to keep it that way!

Soul, Heart, Dreams: Where it’s at

Dreaming

There is some healing in simply going where the day takes you. After letting go of a lot of demands these last few days, I had some time to revisit my simplicity journey and where I want to go from here. I feel in my bones a lot of changes I want to make in the future. Marinating on a few ideas and letting them swirl has been good for my heart. My tendency to jump onto different bandwagons and make willy-nilly choices is hard to fight, but big changes require focus, a plan, a dream, and some serious soul searching.

Some of the changes I want to make are extremely difficult; I mean, not for me, but it would be a major change for my spouse and children as well. A lot of my choices not only affect me, but it affects my family. I must know when to strike and do things that are beneficial to me and then there are other things that I must have support, agreement, and passion from my spouse.

It’s especially hard when having to get another person on your vision as well, even harder when what you want to do is totally different from the way things have been done in the past, or drastic career or lifestyle changes, or a complete 180 in viewpoint.

Some particular changes would require my husband to be on board too. If he’s not; then my dream doesn’t happen. In those cases, we have to find the middle ground.

But what if there isn’t a middle ground?

Then, I have to be willing to stay where I am.

A lot of ideas and change is not a big deal, but then the big-big stuff…oh man, it’s hard.

In the meantime, I am going to still manifest my dreams, weigh my options, do what I know to be true, and enjoy myself.

My blogging topics have been slim because my thoughts and dreams have been pretty large. I am meditating, resting, and focusing slowly on changes I want to make and most importantly connecting in harmony with my soul and heart.

Sounds woo-woo, but let me tell you: it’s where it’s at. Like, scary-but-awesome where it’s at.

Lots going on, but hopefully I will have some really, truly, amazing stuff to share very, very soon.

Yoga Love

Yoga

Just a little yoga-love inspo for you today.

Remember to breathe, soak in beauty, express and live in your joy, harness gut-fear, and be the amazing mortal that you truly are!

See your dreams vividly, and should your dreams be shrinking allow yourself the time to see the impossible as possible. Design a little space to get to know who you are again. Continue being great. Dig deeper, have that hard conversation, fuel that burning fire in your heart. Feed your spirit, eat healthy, move your body. Let go of frustration. Write down your passion and do something to make it a reality.

May every day feel like the weekend.