Why Do We Do the Things We Do?

Free Spirit, Gentle Change, Minimalism, Minimalist, Simple Life

It’s Friday and we are all super excited that it’s the weekend. We get to leave our ‘have to’ life of working for someone else and actually attempt to do something we really want to do: like our passions this weekend.

Aren’t you tired of watching the clock and counting down hours for 40+ hours a week? Do you ever wonder how life got on auto-pilot and we all just accepted that this is just how it is; I have to do this day in and day out to survive?

Well, I am wondering that very question and am actively searching for my answer. I can’t help it, because deep in my soul I can feel the fueling of the flame. There is more to life than this. Yes, I created where I am now (and am pretty dang proud of it). But if I honestly dig into where I am and what I have done to get here: it was society that told me I had to. My elders told me I better get my education and grind, grind, grind to thrive in this horrendous world. It’s dog eat dog they said.

And I believed them.

Even when that voice told me: maybe it’s not what I really wanted, I still had to do it because I would be an adult one day, and that’s just what adult’s do.

So what did my young, hopeful self do? Went to college and majored in business, of course! Because, you can’t go wrong with that and BY GOD, I MUST GO TO COLLEGE AND I MUST WORK A MILLION HOURS A WEEK TO PAY OFF MY SHOWY DEBT SO I CAN ‘FIT IN’ IN THIS COUNTRY: I said.

And I did it; like a boss.

Even though I wasn’t happy the whole time because I freakin’ hated business. Booooring. Snore, snore.

And I suck at math and accounting and statistics. Even still I graduated with a high GPA.

Mostly I am just proud that I sat through that many hours of business talk.

I still learned a lot and am not discounting my experience. But, what I am saying is:

When are we going to get to know ourselves again?

When are we going to find out what fuels us?

When are we going to do the work necessary to lead our life’s mission?

When are we going to say ‘I quit’ to what society tells us is normal and what we should do with OUR OWN life?

When will we turn the sail, get to know ourself, and actually BE that person?

The ‘when’ is right now. Not in a minute, but right now.

We can start by doing a few easy things:

1. Asking why do I do the things I do? As creatures of habit, it’s easy to get on auto-pilot. We need to find out how to shake ourselves up from the inside out and get back to center. Why do we work where we work? Why are we stuck and stagnant in our careers, relationships, behaviors? What I can I do get where I want to be?

2. Be conscious of our daily choices. We actually have power and control over our choices. Whether we do the right thing is a different story. There is power in each choice. We just have to make choices that align with our values and true self.

3. Discover what makes you happy. It doesn’t matter what makes someone else happy, I am talking about you! Everyone is different. Embrace who you are. Hint: if you would do this with no one watching or for free: that is what I’m talking about.

4. Focus on yourself. Quit worrying about what other people think about you. We are all abnormal, right? That’s what makes life awesome and everyone special. So don’t be embarrassed about who you really are. It may cause friction when the true you comes out, but you are strong and can handle it! I’m letting loose a few new things about me and it feels so good!

5.  Decide what you can do today. First thing is to start. Now. Exit out of this blog and do what you know you need to do. Is it exercise? Get a glass of water? Create a piece of art? Start your own blog? Research a new class you’ve always wanted to take? Call your best friend?

I’ve heard that good luck and success and happiness doesn’t fall from the sky:

We actually have to CREATE it. 

What will you create today and this weekend?

I’ll be enjoying swimming (handstands and flips included), creating new designs for my Etsy shop CharlisWeb (I opened my shop back up to continue perusing a passion), de-cluttering my junk, getting plenty of sleep, and loving on my family. I’m excited about it.

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Things to Remember as You Change (for the better!)

Clarity, De-Cluttering, Free Spirit, Gentle Change, Letting Go, Minimalism

We all have a tendency to build emotional walls, develop coping mechanisms, and hone in on our fight or flight survival skills. I’ve learned that with time, all of these things defenses build up emotional plaque.

I am not the same person I was 10 years ago, and neither are you. Our experiences have changed us – either for the better or worse. Perhaps we have baggage and negative energy we have bottled up inside. It never gets dealt with because we don’t make or have the time for it.

As we shift and change through time, this bottling up can become a very stressful situation.

If we let it go long enough without dealing with it and changing our behaviors, issues will eventually surface. The daily grind can become overwhelming simply because our inner primal instincts tell us to run from the lion, even if there is no lion.

This is the effect of busyness, stress, frustration, clutter, and simply not taking care of ourselves.

Because my health is now suffering, it is time to do the work and deal with it.

I have attempted to de-clutter my possessions and simply for many, many years but I always end up stuck and giving in. I will donate, then binge trying to fill the void.

Life is full of lessons and I have learned a few things so I can adapt and change:

1. Take it slow. Although I am doing a panicked de-cluttering of my possessions, I am really feeling and experiencing the weight this has on me this time. Instead of just taking my unused possessions out of my living space and downstairs for later or labeling it ‘may use in the future’ it goes straight to the donation center.

2. Be patient with yourself. When we face reality, it can be tough. Especially if you are like me and have just pushed issues inside without the time to deal with it. All of it will eventually surface. It’s worth noting, looking into, and letting go.

3. Celebrate. Yes, de-cluttering and simplifying can be daunting. You will come to realize a lot more about yourself than you may even be ready for. But, this is time to celebrate! You are facing your demons and changing for the better. It’s a celebration!

4. Grace. You and I have made a lot of mistakes. We are human after all. But, everyone has and everyone has to own up to it. By hiding behind the curtain of denial, nothing is accomplished. We can not change unless we bring it all to the table. I’m learning with time, that I forgive myself. Not everything is my fault; whether it was someone else’s doings or my own: what happened has happened. There, I said it. Now, let’s do something else.

5. Live for now. What happened yesterday doesn’t matter anymore. You learn from it. You have permission to let go and be your best today. Tomorrow hasn’t happened; and quite frankly, may not ever happen, so let’s not worry. Let us live our lives for today in this moment. We better make dang sure we live the life we want because we only have 1 shot at this.

You will know when it’s time to make a drastic change. You may be lurking here for some inspiration or someone to relate to. That’s what I do. Know that you can’t change until you are ready to do the work. Start now. Be the person you want to be. Don’t focus on the end result, focus on what you do right now and what your next decision will be. All the littles make the bigs in the end. It takes daily tries and choices – not just one big bang! Get that momentum and do it.

That’s where I’m headed; imperfectly perfect.